More Fun with Pointless Lies

You know who's great? Royalty. Whether they're dressing up as Nazis or asking Chinese people how they manage to see through those strange, narrow eyes of theirs, members of this planet's various royal families can always be counted on to do something entertaining. To wit:

• In 1997, Prince Joachim of Denmark playfully asked Nelson Mandela to shine his shoes, then instructed him to "lighten up, you stupid baboon," when Mr. Mandela failed to laugh at the prince's quip.
• Cristina Federica Victoria Antonia de la Santisima Trinidad, the Spanish Infanta, publicly blamed "Jewish witchcraft" for a cholera outbreak that struck Toledo in 2001.
• Six-year-old Prince Constantine Alexios of Greece knows at least ten derogatory terms for the Turks and believes that black people wouldn't be black if they washed more thoroughly.
• Prince Filip of Belgium, no stranger to controversy, once self-published a book titled, "Seven Steps Toward Ridding the World of the Menace of the Chocolate People," and he gained considerable media attention in 1982 when, as a student, he intentionally ran over a family of Gypsies with his Porsche.
• Maurits Willem Pieter Hendrik, Prince of Oranje-Nassau van Vollenhoven, Netherlands, once attended a costume party dressed as Anne Frank's corpse.
• Iñaki Urdangarín y Liebaert, Duke of Palma de Mallorca, caused something of a stir just last year, when he suggested that "maybe China wouldn't so bad off if it weren't so filled up with niggers."

And so on. On the flip side, Hello magazine does relate a hilarious story that demonstrates how charmingly down-to-earth Princess Mary of Denmark is: "At one pre-wedding event, for example, her hat was carried off by the wind, but she didn't miss a beat, laughing gracefully as she thanked the guard who returned it." Wow. That's what I call down-to-earth!

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(NOTE: I've only been putting the Pay Pal thing here because I was asked to by some dimwitted prick who clearly gets some perverse thrill out of fucking with poor people. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't donate money freely, heedlessly, and foolishly to my cause, which is, you will agree, very, very important. )