They Can't All Be Gems, Right?

Ah, Christ. So, I'm just back from this cocktail party, right? In a way, it was great, mainly because it was at the Friar's Club, which meant I got to see an oil painting of Norm Crosby! I don't know how you feel about Norm Crosby, but I think he's one of the best malapropism-based comics working today (assuming he is working today). Say what you want about Foster Brooks, but I say he's no Norm Crosby. Anyway, the party, which was for the popular web site The Defamer, was good enough, in that I got to meet several good people (including a pair of Harvard grads who didn't even spit on me or nothin'!) and drink a couple good, free drinks. The downside, of course, was that I was in a room full of bloggers. I took no survey, but I'd be willing to bet that every LA blogger who's any LA blogger was in attendence. Just imagine if someone dropped a bomb on the building tonight... God. It would make no difference whatsoever.

Meanwhile, I told everyone I met tonight about this stupid site since no one was all that interested in my hilarious tales of joblessness and, more precisely, the question I was asked most was, "What's your blog like?" Which means there's some pressure on me to come up with something especially clever now, at 11 o'clock, with a full day of horror ahead of me come the morning light. Fuck. You know what? Here's a fan favorite that requires almost no effort:

Genuine search queries that led a handful of presumably unpleasant people to this site

• the politics of freestyle bmx
• Lark Voorhies uncle
• decalcification on the baby's heart
• anderson cooper circumcision
• Lucy Liu sneezing
• SET UP A RELIGIOUS FOUNDATION IN LOUISIANA
• how to move a refrigerator down a flight of stairs
• kelly ripa eating pussy
• dr phil kiddy porn
• Why can you walk on ice and swim in water
• sexy allen iverson screensavers
• urbane chiffarobe
• syphilis katherine Hepburn
• corona sweatpants
• get Amen with Sherman Hemsley back on again

Personally, I like the last one, since it's timely.
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