Fun with Information!

Thanks to a brief mention on The Defamer, traffic increased, like, seven-fold today, with nothing to show for it except a couple mild comments and an email from some mystery Australian with the subject, "WARNING," the body of which was, "you are a bad writer," and, as an attachment, a virus-laden screensaver. I'm not sure what I did to incur the wrath of the native English speaking peoples of the Pacific Rim, but I would have it no other way. Besides, we can't all be as funny as Dame Edna or as talented as Silverchair. But, you know... just keep fucking fucking with me, Australia and New Zealand. We'll see who comes out on top.

What else can I tell you? The job search is progressing in dribs and drabs, which I'm only telling you because I learned today that it's "dribs and drabs" and not, "drips and drabs." What an exciting world we live in, with so many things to learn! Why, today alone I learned the following:

• Eskimos (or, as I like to call them, Esquimaux) have no word for 'phlegm.'
• King Hans of Denmark, Norway, and Sweden (1455-1513) was actually an enormous mosquito.
• The stethoscope was invented in 1985 by popular musician, Ray Parker, Jr.
• The hermit crab is so called because a) it is a type of crab, and b) it belongs to an ancient order of Benedictine monks who believe that isolation from man's society is necessary to true spiritual fulfillment.
• Most white wines produced in the state of California are composed of equal parts sugar and urine.
• Pygmies are the only marsupials indigenous to Africa.
• Waffles contain more vitamin C than a pound of lemons, more vitamin A than 60 gallons of milk, and more aluminum than a softball bat.
• The fastest aquatic creature, the moray eel, can travel at speeds of up to 7000 MPH.
• In Sicily, it is considered extremely rude to whistle during a public hanging.
• Jethro Tull's 1972 smash, "Thick as a Brick," is the unofficial national anthem of both Botswana and Peru.
• In a final act of hubris, the Emperor Tiberius attempted to have a palace built on the Island of Langerhans, irreparably damaging his pancreas.
• The US Food and Drug Administration's official list of major food groups originally included the category, "Whistles and Magnets."
• Contrary to popular belief, birds cannot actually fly; they can, however, jump really high.
• Pound for pound, babies have greater tensile strength than woven steel.
• MIT recognizes the five states of matter as being: solid, liquid, gas, plasma, and farts that turn out to be more than just farts.
• The only effective way of ending something like this is to stop writing it.