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No one ever said that sports writers were any good at what they do, and no one ever cited ESPN The Magazine as a well-written publication, but this is too much. The following comes from an article about Boston Celtics rookie forward, Al Jefferson:

"Jefferson is a gentle soul from Prentiss, Miss,. with the manners of a Southerner who was protected by... two grandmothers and two older sisters. (His father died in a drowning accident when Al was 6 months old)."

Okay, fair enough, but I have one question: he died in a drowning accident? As in, he'd gone down to the pond for a nice, relaxing afternoon of drowning, but then something went horribly wrong? That's just terrible. The last time one would expect tragedy to strike is during a drowning. Jesus, who's ESPN The Magazine's editor, Stuart Scott?

Someone else who could use a good drown.