Greetings From Inside My Smelly Ass

Where to begin? Honestly, I don't have anything particularly exciting to tell you. This afternoon, I walked from Far Rockaway to Wappinger Falls (or something like that) in the 400 degree heat (with 700% humidity), so I am bushed. Soon, Flash will be here, and we will have dinner. Hooray! I'm staying Downtown, at my buddy Evan's, which has gone fine, though it's a studio apartment and he's just starting week two of his new, 100-hour-a-week job, so I fear his patience is bound to run out sooner or later. I looked at a couple places in Brooklyn today, a huge two bedroom (with, oddly, two living rooms and a dining room) in a fairly shitty building in a black neighborhood, the other a pretty tiny two bedroom in a recently gutted brownstone in a semi-shitty neighborhood. Fascinating, I know.

A lot more black people in New York than LA. I've always gotten along well with black folk, but I'm way more intimidated by them than by Mexicans, seeing as black people generally didn't come here by choice and tend to have some baggage about that. Except West Indians. West Indians seem pretty happy. But I shouldn't generalize. I'm sure a lot of West Indians are full of anger and hate, too.

The time difference is pissing me off maybe more than anything else. I keep looking at the baseball scores page on ESPN.com and subtracting three hours from the game time. I'll miss the early ball games. Also, the lack of suffocating humidity. I could give two fucks about the palm trees, but I would prefer it not smell so horrible here. Also, way too many people. I don't mind them living here, but there should be some sort of lottery that regulates the days people are allowed to leave their homes. Also, I've had pizza at two different places so far, and I could name ten places in LA that are better, all of them Pizza Huts.

Okay, that's all for now. If any of you have any job leads you think would be appropriate for someone of my limited skills and abilities, don't hesitate to fill out an application on my behalf.

Much love,
The Honorable Luigi Muhammad