Hey, Remember VH1?

It's so hot out...

How hot is it?

Why, it's so hot out,
1. Jeff Gilooly just hit Tonya Harding on the knee with a Nutty Buddy*!
2. Mickey Rooney just married Dolly Parton--for the shade!
3. The Pillsbury Dough Boy is now the Pillsbury Breadstick!
4. Mr. T is wearing an air conditioner unit on a chain around his neck!
5. Madonna just had sex with an iceberg.
6. I am sitting here, writing jokes for the deceased Johnny Carson to tell 10-15 years ago, yet I still believe that there's a place for me in show business. Still, weirder things have happened--just ask Larry Fortensky!

(Footnotes provided upon request.)
(* "Pudding Pop" would have also been applicable here, I think.)