My Hilarious Encounter with a Gorilla

The supposedly most prevalent material in the universe is black matter, a substance of which so little is known, scientists call it "black matter." Yet most of the world's people believe they know man's purpose on Earth, and they live their lives with a solid idea of what God looks like. Never mind that gods always die alongside the civilizations that created them. Never mind that 99% of all religion is blind speculation and willing submission to the beliefs of mystical crackpots and other so-called "spiritual" types. Never mind that your religion will always seem like a waste of time (at best) compared to my religion, no matter who you and I are or what we believe. And never mind that, when we look at them subjectively, each religion is precisely as ridiculous as its rivals.

My long-standing, overarching belief is that we are but a speck of sand on God's good green earth, and our planet itself is but a speck of sand in an immeasurable universe. Even if we prove extremely durable over time, there are more things that we as a dominant species will ever know than mathematics has devised a number for. We'd accomplish a lot more and build better, happier societies if we quit worrying about the True Meaning of it All and start to focus on just using what we've got. If there is a God, and that God is equipped with the same sort of emotions with which He so generously blessed us, I think He'd prefer that we get down to work and not spend so much time worshipping Him. I mean, really, are we suggesting that God--big, omnipotent God--actually NEEDS our prayers? Like that's how He derives His nourishment or something?

All right, I'm getting all worked up, my blood pressure's through the roof, and dozens of throbbing veins have popped up all over my face, neck, and head. So I'll just leave you with this: if any of you reading this are religious, just stop it, already. It's just not cute anymore.